2's my favorite 1

I know you are all wondering if I really did it. You are all thinking to yourself, hey, I wonder if J really did get married this past October. She said she would, but she never confirmed via blog post, so maybe she pulled a runaway bride.

Well, sorry to disappoint but I did NOT pull a runaway bride. On October 12th I got married. Kevin and I had a beautiful, "let's get this done," 6 minute outdoor ceremony. We declared our undying love and dedication to each other surrounded by our family and friends, and it was everything I imagined it to be.

And then we partied. We celebrated with all our loved ones and it was just so amazing and special. I think I told every person who I came in contact with that I loved them, and you all better believe that I meant it. If for some reason I missed you, just know that I LOVE YOU! I think I may have the biggest supportive group of family and friends in the world (OK, not counting you Bat Kid, your support group is pretty impressive too). And now Kevin and his family are part of mine, and I am one lucky girl.

I've read multiple posts over the past months about husbands and boyfriends leaving their loved ones behind as they go through the most difficult battle of their life, cancer. When I tell Kevin that he is something special, he claims that any man would stick by his woman's side during her toughest times, but that's sadly not true. Even before our wedding vows, even before we said in front of everyone, "through sickness and health," I knew that he could step up to the plate. I just want every woman who has been let down by her man before know that there are good ones out there. There are dedicated, strong men, who will stick by your side and take care of you when you need them the most. I am lucky to know many of them. My family is full of them! My dad never left my mom's side, and Kevin will never leave mine.

Speaking of my mom, she would have loved Kevin. I know it. And I know she would have loved my wedding. I wore her wedding dress and I felt like a princess in it. A bad ass, cancer kicking princess to be exact! Just like my momma.

Thank you to everyone who came to my wedding. Thank you to all my friends and family. Thank you to Kevin for being all that I could ask for (and even a little more). Thank you to everyone who reads this blog. You all keep me sane, and I am sure I will continue to need your support as the years fly by.

- J.

Life's a Game Played by Everyone, and Love is the Prize

While in Michigan for a friend's wedding, I received some pretty awesome news.

I had made up my mind, psyched myself up, that no matter what the results of my CA-125 blood test results turn out to be, it doesn't mean I have ovarian cancer. Either our little birth control diagnostic test will have worked, or the test results will still be high.  If the results are still high, we'll just have to do some more testing. No big deal. Just a new adventure for me. This number was not going to be the final be all, say all, of an ovarian cancer diagnosis.

When my cell phone rang I recognized the number immediately. I took a deep breath and answered the phone. The usual nurse I speak to, Pia, was on the other end. She started the call off with, "I just wanted to call you with some good news!" I think I was holding my breath because I exhaled a great sigh of relief. She told me that my CA-125 count had fallen down to the normal range! I told her how happy and excited I was to hear this news. She said my doctor may want me to take another test in a couple of months, but he didn't specify. He just wanted her to call me immediately. She then wished me a happy upcoming wedding day (he had written down the day in my chart) and we hung up.

Thank god this test was a success! Taking the birth control was worth it! Even though I bled for an entire month, was a bloated, moody mess - it was all worth it! Of course I stopped the birth control immediately after the one month was up. Being on it was such a nightmare. Ugh! But it helped me pass my test, and that's all that matters.


Now I can focus on an entirely different, new path in my life. Marriage! On October 12th, I am getting married and not the tiniest inkling of health concerns will be on my mind. I will start my married life with a clean bill of health, marrying my man who loves me for who I am - fake boobs, scars, and all the rest.

- J.

Putting my New Boobs to the Test

This past Friday I went to see Dr. Blackwood in the morning. Like I said before, I couldn't wait to show her the new implants. She was very impressed and thought they looked great. She said I was healing well and everything was going according to plan.

She taught me how to do a self examination. It's basically the same from what I was doing before, but this time around I need to make sure I feel the implant and that it is nice and smooth. I don't want to feel any lumps or anything else that may be funky. She spoke to me a bit about my eating habits. She's a big fan of salmon, almonds, fruits (especially blueberries), mostly things that one eats when trying to be a healthy little eater. But with that healthy eating, there should be NO soy products. Soy = estrogen, and we all know how bad estrogen is for someone like me.

Also, NO multivitamins! Multivitamins help cancer become strong. She explained that cancer is lazy, and when you take multivitamins the nutrients go straight into the bloodstream where cancer can grab them and become stronger. I need to get my vitamins from food sources, which I think is a good idea. I never took multivits anyway, so now I don't feel as bad about that.

My next appointment with Dr. Blackwood is in a year! Woo! She wants me to make my very much delayed OB/GYN appointment and to also meet with an Endocrinologist about my vitamin D deficiency. So, I still have doc appointments in the future, just none with my breast surgeon.

After my appointment I put my new boobs to the test. I had a wedding to attend in the city at the Brooklyn Botanical Garden. I planned to wear a strapless dress and just feel all around fabulous. Well, mission accomplished!

This was the first time I wore something really nice with my new boobs and I felt fantastic! Now, I know Dr. Spiro said I could freeball it for a couple of hours if I wanted, but I just didn't feel comfortable enough to do so. I wore a strapless bra and I am glad I did. I felt protected, and I also had this crazy fear that if my strapless dress fell a bit I would be blissfully unaware because of my numb boobies. Well, my boobies did their job, held up my dress perfectly and just made me feel super great.

I was even able to perform my "famous" elbow dance with the knowledge that my boobs would not go rogue or be uncomfortable.

They certainly passed their first real test. Even though these new boobs still don't totally feel like mine, they are definitely "growing on me." Yuck-yuck.






- J.