Laughter Really IS the Best Medicine

It's that time of the year again. My surgervercary is approaching. It's been two years since my double mastectomy and the start of my life being cancer free again. It's a good feeling!

Just a couple of days ago I began an email correspondence with a friend's sister who is scheduled for a double mastectomy next week. She is going the same route as I did, expanders, then silicone gel implants and she is feeling all the emotions I did exactly two years ago. Her family and friends are incredibly supportive and it sounds like she has a great support system.

I tried giving her as many "tips" as I possibly could so she would feel prepared for what to expect when she is at home recovering. As I was listing all the tips, I couldn't help but laugh as I remembered:

• Kevin wrapping me in plastic wrap so I could shower
• Me dropping my food between car seats and not being able to retrieve it with my T-Rex arms as Meg drove me to a doctors appointment 
• Trying to build origami creatures with my nieces and nephew and then abruptly giving up when we found out we had to use glue
  
• And possibly my favorite moment - going to Supercuts with c.d. and receiving this master piece. I remember laughing so hard that it HURT. Literally. My chest was so sore afterwards but it was much needed.

Luckily I have family and friends who, when shit gets tough, make me laugh. Of course, I'll always remember what I went through in 2012. The pain, anxiety, medications, trauma, just wanting to exercise, the frustration, all of it. But I also remember the good parts of my recovery, the time spent with my family, the jokes about my drains, movie nights down in the basement, all the laughing, and oh so much more.

- J.

PS Speaking of wrapping one's self in plastic wrap, I was just currently tipped off to this awesome product that is used for showering after surgery. It's the one thing I look back at and wish I had. If you are interested in other helpful aides check out the awesome CureDiva website.

New Scars

I had an appointment today with Dr. Spiro to get my bandages off and stitches out. I was very excited for this appointment mainly because I knew I'd be able to shower again without saran wrap and lord knows I needed a normal shower badly!!

My appointment was bright and early in the morning. I arrived on time and saw Dr. Spiro. When he went to take off the bandages he told me that my reconstruction was the best reconstruction he's ever done. (Oh Dr. Spiro... I bet you say that to all the ladies!). He is very very happy with the results and said that he has even out done himself this time.

When the bandages came off I looked down at myself immediately and I must say the new scars look great! They aren't as prominent as the mastectomy scars. They seem quieter somehow. I don't really know how to describe them. They are very thin and still have some scabbing but I just know they will heal perfectly. He said the rippling on my left breast should heal over time, it just so happens my skin is extra thin there. But there is no more redness or creepy muscle peeking through my super thin skin. Gross!

In two weeks I'll be able to run again and swim. In about one week I can start putting cream on my scar. I have to wear my surgical bra for one more week and then the world is my oyster. In regards to my homework assignment I'd say I got a B. He said the bra was ok in general but the band was too tight. I told him the woman said I was a 32 but that I've always been a 34. He said some stores give you smaller bands so you have to be a bigger cup size. So in reality I am a 34C, which I figured all along. I will just return my bra and get the correct size. I'll have to wear a bra all summer (no free balling it just yet), but that's ok. Certainly not the worst of my problems.

All in all this appointment went great. I am currently extremely happy with the results. Also, I don't have to see Dr. Spiro until after Labor Day. That gave me a good sense of accomplishment. I'll have the whole summer to get my life back on track. I can. not. wait!

- J.

Art Imitating Life

Ever since Dr. Spiro gave me the OK to shower with no restrictions, life has been good.  It feels so good to be able to shower again!  I am still very very slow when it comes to getting ready... I think my fastest time has been an hour and a half from undressing to dressing again... but it's not like I need to rush anywhere just yet.

I find it a little difficult to adjust to these weird new expanders in my chest.  They are rock solid and kinda creep me out hardXcore.  Dr. Spiro placed two small circular bandages (that I've decided could one day actually stand in for fake nipples if I wanted to take a test drive with nips) on the little puncture wounds where the needle went in to expand me.  I had such trouble getting them off the next day because they were stuck on pretty well to my skin and I kept freaking myself out when I could see myself touching my skin, couldn't feel anything, and my skin was rock solid.  It's just strange!  Thank God the expanders won't be in forever, they can be kinda creeptastic.

Also, when not confined in my medical sports bra they feel weird!  They kinda feel like they are moving around all over the place.  I know they aren't, but it certainly feels that way.  The incisions aren't that bad. They look just how I thought they would.  The left breast looks a little lumpy from the expander, and in my opinion the right one looks a tad bit bigger.  But my right breast was always bigger than my left so that's just art imitating life I say.  They do look perfectly normal in clothes though, so that's really all that matters for now.

Tomorrow I have my second physical therapy appointment.  I've been doing all my exercises and feeling much better.  It feels good to be able to wash my own hair again!

- J.