Reporting Back

My new OBGYN was very nice and my appointment went rather smoothly. It was an intense appointment though and he gave me a lot to think about.  He seems very concerned about my ovaries. He wants to be proactive with them and he gave me three different options to ponder. None of them really appeal to me but I will do more research and acquire more details.

• The first option is the least invasive. He wants me to start birth control pills. Now this seems like a bad idea because why would I want to add more estrogen in my body? It seems counter productive. Especially since Dr. Blackwood wanted me to be very aware of my soy consumption. And that's just estrogen in soy! He said he would put me on a low low dose of estrogen. About 10mg. I have read that women who take birth control for 5+ years lower their risk of ovarian cancer, but what if I have rogue breast cancer cells floating through my body?! I certainly don't want to feed them estrogen!
• The second option is only based on theory. I'm sorry, I love research, but I am not doing something to my body based on theory alone. That theory is that ovarian cancer does not actually start in the ovary. Some are saying that the cancer starts on the little phalanges at the end of Fallopian tubes. It then presses up against the ovary and the tumor grows in to it. Some women are having just their Fallopian tubes removed.
• The third option is removing both the ovaries and the Fallopian tubes.

Now the last two options would require that I freeze eggs or embryos and obviously consult with an IVF clinic. At this moment in time those two options seem just a bit extreme to me.

And to be honest this whole ovaries thing angers me. I'm 30! I want to have kids, but not yet. I hate that I feel pressured to have kids because my ovaries may be little ticking time bombs. I have stuff I need to do. I want to be financially stable. I don't want to rush anything just because something may or may not happen. As pointed out to me. When my mom and aunt Jeanne had their ovaries removed there was no sign of cancer, so that leaves me hopeful.

This whole little "but this isn't my plan" rant makes me think of a quote by Joseph Campbell I saw posted on a blog, "We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us."

For now I am waiting for test results to come back. I also need to get an ultrasound done and a couple more tests. I will see him again in six months and by then I should hopefully be well versed in ovaries and ovarian cancer.

- J.

New Doctor Time!

It's been awhile my dear blog. I do miss posting here, but no posts means nothing crazy is happening and I totally prefer that. It's not you blog, it's me!

Tomorrow I have an appointment with a new OBGYN recommended to me by my breast surgeon. She really wants to keep an eye on my ovaries. Keeping an eye on one's ovaries is difficult because it is very hard to diagnose ovarian cancer. But this new doctor is very specialized and I have the utmost confidence in him (though I haven't met him yet...). I know Dr. Blackwood wouldn't send me to just anyone.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. No, I'm not nervous because he will be my first male OBGYN (although that is strange to me). I'm nervous that he's going to find cancer.

Thanks to this whole breast cancer experience I am now that person who thinks every little pain is CANCER!! I can no longer hide behind the lame excuse of "I'm too young to get cancer." I get a headache? It's CANCER!! I get a stomach pain? It's CANCER!! My knee hurts after running? It's CANCER!! I know it's silly but I feel like that will be something that follows me around for awhile, if not forever. But it's ok, I've gotten used to it already.

So I am ready for this new doctor! I have all my reports in order and all my paperwork filled out. He is located in the same building as my plastic surgeon so I've got this! After my doctor appointment I am heading north for Thanksgiving. I am looking forward to a low key, relaxing vacation.

I hope you all have a great Thanksgiving holiday!

- J.