So I am kinda celebrating the one year anniversary of my double mastectomy + reconstruction. I say kinda because if you've been following my blog I actually had my surgery on February 29, 2012. I celebrated a Leap Year by getting my breasts cut off! I don't mess around.
I think I feel a bit more emotional about this date than my cancerversary date. I'm not sure why. Maybe because I was so nervous and scared. Maybe because I knew it was so final, no looking back, no regrets. Maybe because I knew I had so many people cheering for me, both at the hospital and in spirit. I've never felt so sad, and angry, and pissed off, and supported, and loved, and cared for all at once!! It was exhausting!
My days at the hospital are a blur and come in little bursts of memories (thanks morphine and pain killers). I remember everyone visiting, telling the nurse I was convinced the morphine wasn't working, walking around with the catheter (unpleasant), trying to figure out who sent the flowers arranged as an adorable dog (thanks Shafran), calling the nurse twice in the middle of the night for more pain meds (as Kevin slept in the chair next to my bed the entire time), the PT making me walk up some stairs and declaring I don't need physical therapy (uh, what?), my roommate was lovely, and I emailed my coworkers to tell them I was high on painkillers but doing well.
Then there's this picture c.d. took of me the day after my surgery, March 1st. Yup. I'm super excited that the hospital offered Mrs. Dash in a packet. I can't remember what I put it on... meatloaf perhaps? This picture says it all. I just had my breasts removed and here I am surrounded by family and friends, loving life, and my Mrs. Dash packet.
Thank you to everyone who helped me remember to always keep laughing and smiling. I'm lucky to have you all around to make sure my sense of humor was not removed in surgery as well.
- J.
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