Share My Road

December 27, 2011.

I can't believe it's been a year. I can't believe it's been a year from the day my body gave me the wake up call that I just couldn't ignore. After ignoring the clear discharge for months on end, it decided to smack me across the face. "Don't ignore me any longer!" It shouted to me. It turned bloody and I could no longer ignore what I kept deeming, "just a normal discharge." I made an appointment that day for a mammogram and ultrasound. I still find it absolutely crazy that after I was officially diagnosed with breast cancer the discharge just stopped. What was up with that?! Seriously. Is that something that happens? Did my body say, "Hey, thanks for listening ass. Now take care of me." I'll never ignore you again body! I swear!

Some days the year feels like it flew by. Other days it seems like it crawled. I've been thinking about this time last year more than ever as the one year anniversary of my diagnosis approaches. I think about going to different doctor appointments, wondering if I was OK. I think about that exact moment in time when I was told I had breast cancer and I begin to tear up all over again. I think about telling my friends and family about my diagnosis when I couldn't even believe it myself. I also remember everyone being strong for me when I needed that the most.

You've all been following my journey for a year and I thank you every day for your support. I couldn't have done it without all of you in my own personal cheering section. I still feel overwhelmed by my diagnosis, even though I've been stamped CANCER FREE. It's only been a year. Only a year. And yet so many things have changed. I started the year with a breast cancer diagnosis and I end the year breast cancer free. I started the year with my own breasts. Now I have these implants on my chest that I still need to get used to. I am still so hyper-aware of my implants and I hope that fades over time. I know it will. Or at least I hope it will.

My emotions are running wild as I am able to reflect on this time last year knowing what I know now. Last year I was just on auto pilot as I fought hard to regain my health and kick breast cancer outta my life. I didn't know what was in store for me, and technically I still don't, but what I do know is that I fought my hardest and had the most amazing people by my side.

- J.